(But I’m willing to settle out of court for $1,000,000.)

It seems that Washington “Judge” Roy Pearson is suing his dry cleaner for losing his pants. The problem with this? The suit is for $65 million!

• Suing the pants off dry cleaner
• $65M lawsuit over lost pants

Part of Pearson’s request for damages includes $500,000 in emotional damages. What about the emotional damages sustained by the Chungs fighting this ridiculous lawsuit.

And what does this say of Pearson’s character? This man has chosen to destroy the lives of three people (the Chungs and their son) over a lousy pair of pants – a pair of pants he could easily replace, mind you.

So why my demand for $2.5 odd million?

This case has infuriated me to the point where I am considering filing a lawsuit against Pearson. To begin with, his lawsuit is so absurd, it calls into question his suitability as a judge. In my mind, that amounts to fraud. From what I understand in reading his case, fraud in Washington is a $1500 fine per infraction. Using Pearson’s math, that’s $1500 per day per person. I don’t really know what kind of person he was before this case (although I am certain we can make an educated guess), so I will give him the benefit of the doubt and only look at the time from when this incident began. Two years X $1500 X one judge comes to $1,095,000. In addition, I am so upset about this, I will need to include damages for mental anguish. $500,000 should make that go away. Pearson’s request for legal fees in his suit comes to $542,000. Since he is representing himself, I am certain I won’t be able to get such a bargin. I would guess I need to allow for at least $1 million in legal fees to fight this.

All told, my case against Pearson comes to $2,595,000.

All kidding aside, this is flat out abuse of the system and Pearson deserves to be punished. Is disbarment to much justice? At the minimum, he should be removed from the bench. This is a man that has the power to hand down decisions based on competent and fair interpretation of the law. This case tells a story of his suitability (or lack thereof) to don the robe.

Also see: Kick in the Pants

If you find Pearson’s claim to be absurd, ridiculous, and a mockery of our legal system, please consider helping the Chungs by donating to the Custom Cleaners Defense Fund.

This is so funny I wish I could say I thought of it myself. But I didn’t, so I’ll provide the link:

A Midwestern Perspective on Politics and Economics